just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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