yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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