I heard we made out
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
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Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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