i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
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Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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