What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
