You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
