She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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