Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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