sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
