Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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