What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
