Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
