loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize