just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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