some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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