Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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