The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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