so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
