i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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