There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just tell him i said nine months
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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