Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
