I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
