the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
