Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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