I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
