Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
