meet me or not, i'm out of control
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
