What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize