there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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