i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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