She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
