What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
