saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
