I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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