I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
