That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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