Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
