what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
