My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
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Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
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There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
i believe in u and ur pee
We smell like vodka and hangover
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