Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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