I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
