i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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