I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
