i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
