u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
