I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
