He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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