thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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