dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I think I have vodka in my lungs
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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