Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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