i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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