So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Holy sore nipples Batman
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Randomize
