So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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