i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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