somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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