so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
