You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
