So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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