What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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