Hey man sorry I got all grabby
thus making me awesome and them whores
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
