So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
